02: Conflict and Communication
This section deals with the question of how to communicate in situations of conflicts in order to arrive at the best possible solutions, so-called win-win situations. One speaks of a conflict when two elements are present at the same time, but cannot be realized at the same time or are contradictory or incompatible in themselves.
Conflicts are characterized by the fact that they are disturbing, emotionally charged and carry the danger of escalating. These characteristics already provide clues for managing conflict:
Not only do you need a way to work out the conflict, but you also face the task of overcoming your own fears and controlling your own anger.
Creating or exacerbating conflict means creating burdens for oneself and others.
It is important in conflict to be resilient. This expands one’s own room for maneuver.
In the case of conflict, it happens very easily that communication slackens or even becomes insincere. Information is therefore hardly exchanged or exchanged incorrectly, people talk more about each other than with each other, pressure accrues.
Phases of a cooperative conversation about conflict:
- A person perceives that his or her interests are affected, which results in increased agitation. This agitated stateshould be brought under control.
- The next step is to establish a relationship with the other person, to build trust.
- Trust must be renewed again and again, and this requires open communication.
- Now you can take up the particular topic of the conflict and work on a joint solution to the problem.
- Once a solution has been found, it should be secured through reciprocal agreement.
- However, conflict resolution is not complete until what has been agreed upon has also been accepted internally by each party.
 Berkel, 1999, 76ff.